Notes
Remember that kids’ slapping game where you have to slap the other kid’s hand? There’s an electronic version of it.
For what it’s worth, I seem to remember that, at my school, there was a slightly more violent version of Slaps called Knuckles in which, instead of slapping the other person’s hands in a left/right motion, you hit the other person’s top knuckles with your middle knuckles in an up/down motion.
Oh, and when you lost a round, you had to clench your fist, put your hand down on a desk (so your first two sets of knuckles were on the desk), and the winner would flick a coin (50c, ideally) at your knuckles as hard as they could.
So, school. That was fun.
(Does anyone else remember that game, or was it a sadistic invention of the ratbags at my school?)
Notes
808 Handclaps
A few years ago, I had what could be called a musical side-project. It was just me and things I that I had put together.
At the time, I was always telling my friends that all you needed for a good song was an 808 and some handclaps. (I later revised that definition to include “backup vocals.”) I liked the way those two words fit together, so I decided to call my little project “808 handclaps.” I pronounced it “eight hundred and eight handclaps,” not “eight oh eight handclaps.”
At the time, my equipment arsenal included a Squier Stratocaster (with the low E string sometimes tuned down almost an octave and played very softly (pianissimo, motherfuckers) to imitate a bass guitar), a late-’80s Boss “Mr. Rhythm” drum sequencer, and my own drum kit (with a single Shure SM-57 that I inherited). It was enough.
I can’t find any recordings (they were tapes, my friend) of 808 Handclaps anywhere, so you’ll just have to trust me when I say that it sounded like a poor man’s New Order. Though even calling it that probably gives me more credit than I should get.
I do have a shirt though. My friend made me a kickass 808 Handclaps t-shirt, which I still wear to this day.
Anyway, the hand claps thing got me all-a-rememberin’.
Notes
Let me tell you about my high school rock band.
I just found a CD. It’s about an hour long, and it contains the only recorded evidence that I was in a band in high school.
The choice performance that I’ve chosen to share with you is a cover of blink-182’s “Dammit.” Please, don’t expect a good music-listening experience going into this.
From an engineering perspective, it’s bad — the single mic we had was misplaced in the room, so the drums are way loud and the vocals are barely audible. From a musical-proficiency perspective, it’s even worse — we sucked. Ignoring my friend’s one-beat-off fuck-up at about 1:10, I was into year two, maybe three, of playing drums. My musical influences ranged from older Lars Ulrich to Travis Barker to newer Lars Ulrich. My playing wasn’t exactly nuanced.
Still, I wanted to publish this, if only so that I could chronicle how great we weren’t. Were any high school bands great?
Some other smash hits from the CD:
- the first few minutes of Metallica’s “Seek & Destroy,” as well as the opening minute of “Enter Sandman”
- approximately three Ramones songs
- Green Day’s “Hitchin’ a Ride”
- the obligatory “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
- about twenty-five minutes of dicking around
I guess this is growing up.
